BlogHers Act

If you’ve noticed, Mama Lit has been on a little break. Our contributors are busy mamas, and have all been even busier than ever lately: having babies, moving, finding new jobs. We love to read…when we have the time! While we’ve been on a bit of a break, all of the amazing mama lit authors have not. They’ve been busy busting out more great mama lit for us to review. So we’re putting a call out to any other mamas out there who love to read fiction and non-fiction books that are geared toward American mamas. We’re looking for moms who would be able to add to our diverse roster of contributors: moms who live in different cities (or burbs or tiny villages), have different family make-ups (currently we have moms with one or two kids), and can bring variety in perspective overall to our blog.

We’re a new review site, so compensation is in the form of (wait for it…) complimentary books, as well as the opportunity to add writing samples to your resume and the chance to connect with fellow moms who love to read as you do.

If you are interested, please send me an e-mail. Let me know a little about yourself: where you live, how many kids you have, what you do professionally (and yes, SAHM is a profession!), your general interests, and links to any previous writing experience (blogs count!). Thanks!

The transition to motherhood is as sticky as tar. Nobody tells it as straight as Brett Paesel in her rendition of the adjustment from breezy freedom to the chaotic commitment of children.

Paesel’s account of the sleepless nights, the crying jags (both baby and mom!), and the need for mom-camaraderie is honest, hilarious, touching at times, and a bit crass. The book is mostly focused on Paesel’s struggles with new motherhood through frequent gatherings with her tribe of mom pals. As they gather at the bar to gain sanity and respite from the toil of their child-rearing days, the women provide a sounding board and comfort to each other.

Paesel uses witty humor to cope with pregnancy, miscarriage, adoption, and even the absurd acceptance rituals of exclusive preschools. The weekly bar gatherings underscore the need for community at a time when so many new moms feel isolated. If moms who read this book haven’t yet found their “tribe” of mom friends, they will certainly step up their search upon witnessing how Paesel’s group offers much-needed empathy and support.

There is a slightly annoying “ Hollywood ” pervasiveness in the book; even her OB/Gyn was met through acting classes. (What was he taking acting classes for? “Mrs. Green, you look fantastic—I hardly notice the 70 pounds you’ve put on during pregnancy!”). However, there are enough clever gems of humor to make up for this shortfall, such as reversing the “Expected Milestones” chart from what the baby should be able to do by a certain age to what the mother should be able to do by the time the baby reaches a particular age.

I have to say, I’m glad I read this book after having children. At times, Paesel makes motherhood sound so dismal that her account might have dissuaded me. Fortunately, I could enjoy her humorous challenges of parenting because I know they are off-set by as many joyous moments.

Read it, relish the humor…just don’t pass it along to that friend who is on the fence about having kids unless you are hoping to curb the world population.

Before commencing with the accolades for Jenny Gardner’s new book, “Sleeping With Ward Cleaver”, let me say that Jenny is always welcome to have dinner at our house. I can’t imagine how someone who wrote this book wouldn’t be exceptional funny (like Molly Shannon), bright (like Madeleine what’s her name Secretary of State), and perhaps, even a little sarcastic. Just my cup of tea for a dinner guest!

Jenny’s book is a romantic comedy about a working mother who find herself and her husband again through all the paranoia and delusion that we all experience as parents and spouses. Luckily, Jenny’s book helps us all see the humor in the situation. The book is a well written and easy read.

The first chapter had me in stitches. Children puking. Planned and dreaded sex nights. Poorly trained pets. Poop. Oversexed single friends. And a husband who behaves like Ward Cleaver. A little something for all of us to relate to in our own lives.

This is book is the “Bridget Jones Diary” for all of us married and harried mommies! And perhaps, a good gift to give to our younger and single girlfriends. It’s a gentle and humorous way to give them a glimpse of what’s to come . . .

What I love the most about this book is the ending. It left me understanding myself and my husband a little more. I just wanted to give him one of those long and sumptuous hugs that say, “I understand.”

And at the end I was left understanding the delicate dance in romantic relationships a little more. “Sleeping With Ward Cleaver” was the perfect romantic comedy for a 30-something Mommy, who still wants to be a sexy and sassy gal, despite the spit up encrusted on all of my clothing. I can only hope Rob Reiner and friends, will put this sassy book on the big screen!

The title alone of this book would likely attract most mothers: I believe the majority of us feel like the “odd mom out,” if not on a regular basis then at least from time to time., whether we are the tattooed mom at the kids country club benefit or we are the big city mom suddenly thrust into country living. The ability to relate to this book already exists in its title, and readers will be pleased that the accessibility of this novel easily extends throughout every single one of its pages. Odd Mom Out is the best mama book I have read in a long time: engaging, smart, sharply written and sometimes so funny you may giggle out loud and accidentally wake your sleeping spouse as you read by night light.

Seattle-based author Jane Porter is a single mom of two young boys. I had the honor of meeting her at the NW Women’s Show in Portland, Oregon in October. She is an incredible woman, and I wish I had the chance to speak with her more. She’s one of those women that you just want to be able to sit down and have coffee with and listen to her talk, knowing that somehow you will be smarter, more interesting, and definitely happier and more energized just by the simple act of being in her presence. I gathered all this from about a three-minute conversation with her — she’s that powerful. And so naturally, I was eager to dive into her novel.

In Odd Mom Out, Porter introduces us to Marta, independent, entrepreneur ad exec and single mom to nine-year-old Eva. After a traumatic break up while living in New York, Marta chose to become a single mom thanks to a sperm donor and raise her daughter on her own. She and Eva left New York for Seattle, where Marta spent her childhood, in order to be closer to her ailing mother. Life in a posh Seattle suburb is very different than life in New York City, and even after two years of being back, Marta, with her long hair, cargo pants, paint-speckled shoes and deep love of motorcycles, has never minded being an independent gal, with no ties to the other moms in the ‘hood. But suddenly Eva has made it her life mission to “help” her mother fit in with the country club mothers, just as Eva has been trying to fit in and get the popular girls (mainly Mean Girl #1, Jemma, whose mother’s name is of course Taylor and is of course the #1 parent volunteer) to like her since they moved. Then there is the fact that Marta hasn’t dated - let alone had sex - in the entire 10 years since Eva’s birth (everytime I read this I thought “holy s#2%!”). Of course there is a yummy male character involved who challenges Marta as much as she likes to challenge societal norms, but I won’t spoil the fun by writing more about him.

What I most enjoy about Odd Mom Out is that it is a love story that breathes 100-percent authenticity. So much more than a typical “new mom in town feels left out among the snobby suburbanite moms” tale, at heart it is about the soulful, aching love that a mother feels for her daughter. It is about a mother who will do anything and everything to make her daughter feel happy, confident, loved. I connected with Porter’s words more so than I have with any other novel written this year; she has penned the love we feel for our children so eloquently, so simply, that I never realized no author has ever been able to do so to this extent until reading this book. It makes me smile.

Porter writes as if she is inside our heads, with excerpts such as this:
“Stop the clock, I think, freeze everything right now. I want to remember this–this second, this moment–forever. I want to remember how lucky I was, how lucky I am.

And I want Eva safe, I don’t want her to struggle, and I don’t want to worry about her so much.”

And this excerpt:

“…I mean it in that deep, bone-aching way where I can’t imagine myself without her, can’t imagine how I’d get through a day if anything ever happened to her.

Do other mothers ever torture themselves this way? Do all mothers love their children so much that the love brings you to your knees?”

Yes, dear Jane/Marta, other mothers do. And I thank you for being able to mirror my own thoughts and emotions in Odd Mom Out. If there is a greater modern love story written in this decade that better captures the love between mother and child, I can’t recall it. And I dare you to find it. In the meantime, go read Odd Mom Out. And then go hug your children tight!

The Mommy Wars are well documented. In countless articles, news broadcasts, talk shows, and books, the choices we make to become SAHM, WOHM, WAHM, or DAWHM (I just made that one up) have been analyzed, over-analyzed, and painfully, damagingly re-run. In her latest novel, The Other Mother, author Gwendolen Gross attempts to tackle the heated issue of SAHM vs. WOHM by allowing us to see the world through the eyes of Amanda, a new working mom, and Thea, a stay-at-home mom.

Set in the ‘burbs, we meet Thea, a slim, attractive, Perfect Mother of three. She lives in the house in which she grew up, and new neighbors are moving into what was her best friend’s house next door. Amanda, a busy publishing exec pregnant with her first child, and her husband Aaron are moving to the burbs next door to Thea, fleeing the city they so love in order to build what they hope will be a more stable life for their growing family. In other words, we begin with a formulaic scenario, but by taking the reader into the minds and hearts of the two women - vessels for each side of the debate - Gross attempts to help shed new light on each type of life choice, and to bring us together as one in the same in the end.

I admire Gross for trying to take us there. Having personally been a full-time work-out-of-the-home mother, as well as a work-at-home mother, as well as a stay-at-home mother, I know that there is no way to understand the full challenges, responsibilities and triumphs that come with each if one has never been in those positions first-hand. And yet, I found myself not being able to relate to either of the main characters. In fact, I found myself not being able to find any resemblance of any real mothers I know or have known — and due to my line of work, I have known hundreds of moms in all types of life situations, so not being able to relate in any way to either of these characters kept me quite disturbed as I read this novel.

Thea, for example, was not like any stay-at-home mom (or any working mom for that matter) I know. She was always put together, she was always calm (no yelling, always disciplining in a kind, patient tone to her kids), and she was always on time, baked for her new neighbors, and calmly handled all three of her children (huh? who can do that all the time?). Amanda was written almost over-the-top, as the most manic working mom you can imagine. She bore excruciating amounts of stereotypical stress and guilt (oh the constant guilt!), whereas Thea’s only “issue” was not carving time out for herself, but the tone in the book was that Thea’s supposed martyrdom was something that mothers are supposed to strive for. I was given the impression that Thea was put on the “good mom” pedestal, whereas Amanda was the “bad mom” for having to leave her child with a nanny; the writing seemed very uneven in this respect. Being a stay-at-home mom is hard, hard work, one that makes you batty at times, impatient at times, and sometimes as manic as the fictional Amanda in this book; Thea was made into a Stepford with the undertone that being one is as easy as pie. I would have liked to have seen more balance in these two characters, because it is their unbelievable profiles that makes this a hard book to love (another is that I didn’t feel their love for their children either…that was disturbing).

The story is full in the beginning, with lots of inner dialogue and detail. Then like a movie production that realized suddenly it was millions of dollars over budget and three months behind schedule, we are given a quick descent into a thud of an ending. It’s wrapped up almost too easily, too quickly, and much too haphazardly. There is no closure, and I sense that there was an editorial indecision about where and how we should take leave of these characters. It is written in a way that makes me want to see the unedited version of the last two chapters.

There are moments of glory in The Other Mother: descriptions of childhood friendships missed (we all have those), odd neighbors, the mundane-turned-outrageous situations of life in the ‘burbs. The main characters do have their shining moments as well, but sadly not enough to keep the thread of this hem from falling apart. This is a book that, when allowed to sit in my mind longer, slowly unravels as a means of starting a conversation. In this respect, I value The Other Mother: it makes us think about the choices we make, how we treat and judge others who have made different choices, and how our own secret guilt can wreak unnecessary havoc on our lives and the lives of those around us. It’s not a great read, but it’s a good stone’s throw in the water of this societal debate. It is a quick read, and when you are done, allow yourself to let Gross’ words sit in your head for a while. Like a fine red wine, it gets better the longer it sits out there.

Written by moms, read by moms, reviewed by moms: that’s what Mother Lit is all about. We’re a group of moms from around the globe who have a thirst for literature. We read fiction and nonfiction books that tackle issues facing mothers today, and then we write our reviews on this blog. It’s that simple.

Motherhood may be the strongest common bond in existence for women, and so it comes with many complications, challenges, and questions. We hope that our reviews of books that pertain to mothers and motherhood not only help get you interested in some of the wonderful works written by fellow mothers, but that our words also help spark conversations about our existence as woman, mother, friend.

Our mom reviewers represent a cross-section of YOU: we are working moms, stay-at-home moms, work-from-home moms. We have one to four kids. We are Democrats, Republicans and Independents. Regardless of what we do and what we believe as individuals, we all love to read and support mom authors. We also all love our families, and we do everything we can each day to be good mothers, employees/employers, friends, siblings, daughters, granddaughters.

So cozy up inside the virtual Mama Lit living room, take a seat by the virtual fireplace with a virtual cup of joe/tea/cocoa/cider, and check out what other moms have to say about some of the latest book releases. If you are interested in becoming a reviewer or if you have a book you would like us to review, please send us an email. We’d love to hear from you!